Full Circle

You know sometimes this blogging world feels pretty small. Most of the time I love that, knowing that there is a community behind all the blogs.

Other times... this happens.

I was on Mabels house, I clicked on If I Didnt Have a Sense of Humor, then I clicked on Our Modern Mess.

THEN, I realized OMG, that IS ERIC CARROS. I'd recognize that guy anywhere.

And now on request I will tell you a story about a girl and boy.... scratch that, a girl and a man.

When I was in high school we didnt have facebook and myspace was brand new. AOL, yahoo and other email sites were blocked from school computer access. Rightfully so, why did we need to email each other in class? I forget. Either way, my friends and I signed up for this dumb dating site, it wasn't blocked and we could still email each other. WIN WIN!

Then he found me. He was a 24 year old graphic designer working for cartoon network living in Atlanta, Georgia. How cool. Well cool to a 17 year old high school senior who aspired to be all things crafty. I explained that the age I put on the site wasnt my real age. He explained that he thought I was really cute. (creepy, right?) So we talked, for a long time, about everything. He's greek, comes from a great family. I'm white trash, comes from the ghetto. Knight in shining armor? Hello.

We exchange numbers. We were sneaky. I turned 18 and we decided we couldnt wait to meet each other. We were in LOVE. Love? What is love at 18? Hell, what is love at 24? He flew 2600 miles to see me on my spring break. Met my parents, got to know the real me, the me that isnt just a voice or some pictures. And we decided we were meant to be together. So I had a boyfriend. A manfriend, who was 6.5 years older than me and lived on the east coast. Im a west coast girl. We dated for a couple years. He would come here, I would go there. It wasn't so bad. We named our kids, we dreampt up houses, and a life together.

Then I realized... we had no life together. He was not moving to Portland Oregon, there wasn't any work here for him. (Shortly after two of his coworkers moved here for work :/) He wouldn't let me move in with him. So here I am here, there he is there. And that's it. No life together.

We kept in contact. Called each other for big news. Watched each other date, dump, get dumped. He was my ECCW, I was his lil lady. He found a pretty lady, let her move in and married her. They bought a house together. I did get a web cam house tour. I knew what the house looked like. Soon after though, we stopped talking. For the betterment of his marriage, because his silly wife doesn't want a silly ex girlfriend around. Makes perfect sense. So we said goodbyes.

Until now. Until I stumbled upon his blog. Saw the house they bought and the life they are creating. A life that I thought I was going to have. And that 17 year old dreamer inside of me died, of a heart ache. Then I remember how hot it was in Atlanta in July. How we argued over small things and how much I love being close to my parents. How happy he is and how happy I am for him. Susan and Eric, you're house is beautiful. You won't read this. And its probably better that way.


Emma said...

Hi Rachael,

I just read this and loved it. You have a way with words and it's great that you are willing to share real raw memories on your blog (something i need to get better at). So thanks, we all have those guys who we dreamed up a life with, and it is odd to see them becoming something totally different. cheers, Emma

rachael said...

Glad you liked it! I feel so naked putting it out there! lol i've had some amazing movie like moments and im thinking of starting to write them on here.

Holly Knitlightly said...

Whoa. I really, really liked this post. So strange how you just randomly found him again. Weird how things work out like that.

rachael said...

Glad you liked it Holly! Im thinking of starting to blog more about things like this, and some of my amazing 'kodak' moments.

Jami Nato said...

crazy! and hilarious. man, so glad i didn't marry the guys i thought i would at 17!

rachael said...

ha, Jami, I am also so glad I didnt marry at 17. haha.

Missy said...

Man, you are more mature at your age than I am at mine... I'll let you count fingers and toes on that one :)

You are great at putting your thoughts into words, I really enjoy reading everything you write!