oh hello christmas, alone, again.

We are on thin ice. Not because we want to be. I think we both wish everything was easy. I wouldnt get mad when he ditches me and our plans 3 days in a row on the only weekend I'll get to see him and I wish he didnt ditch me and our plans 3 days in a row.

My solution? Hello giant bottle of strawberry abormist, I really needed to take a bath in all of my clothes and drown all of my miseries away.

After not being together last christmas, this christmas was supposed to be so special. and it is not. He wont be here, he decided not to stay with me for christmas or see me for his birthday. this morning he left, said he didnt know if he would be home before spring break. thats three months people. also, he doesnt even think that we wont have the same spring break, i go to private school, he goes to state school.

so here i am. tomorrow, christmas eve, i'll be cleaning a friends house because i need the money. i wont be his arms, badly singing carols, we wont go to peacock lane, no us together. this is not the beginning of something great like i wish it was.